As the steam began to rise, I stepped into the shower\u2014my phone radio as loud as it would go.
\nThe minute the water hit my body, I began to shake with deep sobs.<\/p>\n
My husband and I had plans to meet with friends for a dinner party in thirty minutes. Yet, I had come home late from work, rushing around in the kitchen trying to finish my contribution to the dinner, and I still had to shower to get ready, clean up the mess from a freezer mishap, and pack up the food.<\/p>\n
As I inhaled the lavender infused steam, I placed my right hand over my heart and started to deepen my breath moving into ujjayi breathing.<\/p>\n
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted my own business, only recently settling on owning a yoga studio. Yet lately, I have been struggling with balancing a 40-hour work week as a first-year school teacher, following my passion as an entrepreneur, and keeping home.<\/p>\n
In the moment that my freezer spewed out cans of bone broth, I realized I simply could not balance life anymore, especially as my discussions with my husband lately have turned to house hunting and children.<\/p>\n
I felt my soul start to give, my years of yoga practice giving me mindfulness: I could recognize the effect that too much stress would have on me.<\/p>\n
Ujjayi breath or victorious breath is meant to induce mindfulness. Its audible sound helps one to be aware of how her body is using breath.<\/p>\n
My desire to finish my Master\u2019s degree and write a business plan pulled against my desire to have children.<\/p>\n
My soul felt torn.<\/p>\n
All I knew to do in that moment was to turn on a hot shower, add a few drops of lavender oil, and breathe in the stillness.<\/p>\n
I can work. And I can dream. <\/em>I whispered to myself on the inhales. <\/p>\n Caitlin Lore is the founder of Wildly Free Life, a space dedicated to living wild freedom, practicing presence, experiencing restoration, and finding adventure. She is a wife, Holy Yoga instructor, writer, holistic wellness educator, entrepreneur, and marriage retreat maker. She specializes in yoga for athletes, restorative yoga, and power yoga classes. <\/em>www.wildlyfreelife.com<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As the steam began to rise, I stepped into the shower\u2014my phone radio as loud as it would go. The minute the water hit…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":2340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[405],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Caitlin-edit2.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2306"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2341,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions\/2341"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cakenwhiskey.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nI can<\/em> keep up my home and marriage. <\/em>I whispered on the exhales.
\n<\/span>My soul can be filled in the waiting space. <\/em>I inhaled.
\n<\/em>Keep dreaming. <\/em>Pause. Breathe.
\n<\/span>You are not alone. <\/em>I exhaled.<\/span><\/p>\n