I have a history of exiting family parties in order to read, excusing myself from networking events to find a bathroom and center myself, and leaving early from late-night bashes to have an hour or so to unwind before falling asleep.When I was younger, I was the girl at sleepovers who went to bed early. I’ve been giving myself space since age 7.
Sometimes we need time away from people. But a solitary desire―no matter what the period of time―is a feeling not always valued by society. We have a tendency to call Walden Pond-esque behavior crazy.
I know people who are “afraid” to be alone. They find it boring, depressing, lonely. Our culture values social experiences: meaningful conversations, building relationships, family time, girls’ nights, and spending time with significant others. We are social creatures.
But can we celebrate ourselves, by ourselves?
I’m alone a lot. I go for walks, listen to music, learn something new, marvel at the stars. I expand the essence of time. I smile, I forgive, and fall in love with myself. And I come back to my relationships complete and whole.
My advice to you today is not to “carve out five to ten minutes a day for yourself” or to “pick up a hobby that can allow you to be alone” (although that’s good advice). My advice is for you to take as much time for yourself as you need.
Because your love for others is at its best when you love you.
Meagan Roppo has been a student of meditation and yoga, as well as a 60-hour trained advocate for women, for the past four years. She has dedicated her time and passion to women’s crisis shelters, feminist studies, and writing on women’s issues. By founding She Enlightened in 2014, Meagan encourages and empowers girls & women to bring forth the unique gifts, voices, and light shining inside each of them. Meagan currently works as Chief Operating Officer of Young Professional Women in Energy, a Pittsburgh-based nonprofit that works to employ more women in the energy industry. http://www.sheenlightened.com
Imagery by Kristina Carter, CAKE&WHISKEY Cover Issue 2
I really appreciate this post. As an introvert, who bounces between extrovert as well, it’s comforting to hear that its ok to want to spend time alone. That is my time to re-energize, re-focus and rest. cheers!
-kate